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BAD2BETTER No matter how difficult or hopeless life seems, remember: There is always a positive and joyful way forward. This app could well be a starting point on your journey to happiness and freedom. Click on any of the links below that describe your experience to find out more (click here for a more detailed introduction) |
| BLOG with more stories & tips |
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We welcome your feedback and comments to further develop the app
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Afraid
Everyone feels afraid in some way or another, we can choose what to do with the fear
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Take a moment to: Be safe: find a personal space Reflect: there is a courageous way forward Develop courage: work things through
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THE STORY OF Edith Eger'The choice:A true story of hope'.Paperback - 16. Aug 2018 by Edith Edger, Rider, London, U.K.
Edith Eger was a Hungarian Jewish 16-year old gymnast and dancer who was wrenched away from her home to be imprisoned in Auschwitz concentration camp. She never saw her parents or boyfriend again but remembered her mother saying 'there is one thing you can always control: your mind'. And so she survived the horrors by looking out for her sister and other prisoners. At night she thought about being a famous ballet dancer and reuniting with her boyfriend not knowing he had died.
Somehow she survived and recovered. She married an Austrian Jewish man and soon became pregnant. The doctor told her she was too weak to give birth and insisted on her having an abortion but she showed him the door. Her child became a life-line for her, but she feared for their lives as an anti Jewish persecution pervaded Europe.
She managed to get hold of forged papers that would allow their entry into the U.S. On the boat journey across the Atlantic she was absolutely terrified that they'd be found out, but she kept strong for her little girl and husband. She is still alive sharing her story of how we can empower ourselves with hope & love.
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Journey from fear to courage Fear is a message of a potential risk, but also an opportunity to connect with what you believe to be important, and take action in that area. What is the risk that makes you afraid? Use the strength of COURAGE & BRAVERY to move beyond your fears.Take the courage to act according to your convictions rather than other people's expectations. Allow yourself to be of good cheer through pain, humiliations or illness. Be bigger than these. You may feel fearful but face each day with courage and engage yourself where you believe you can have an input.
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Journey from fear to courage 1. What am I afraid of? 2. What do I think could go wrong? Courageous action could be to do nothing, or to do something. 3. What can I do that is worth taking the risk? 4. What will I do if things don't work out as expected? 5. Why is it important for me to take a risk and move forward, rather than letting fear paralyse me and stop me from experiencing something adventurous and satisfying?
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| Sometimes our negative feelings can persist and we might need to connect with someone who listens to, and helps us discern our way forward. | ||||
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Jigsaw is an Irish help organisation for 12-25 year olds that offers
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| The Samaritans is another support group who is available 24 hours 365 days a year to talk over the phone. | ||||
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| Safe space to share personally and anonymously. We are here with trained volunteers 24/7. From calming chats to immediate support during a mental health or personal crisis - big or small. | ||||
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Anger
A natural part of our human reaction - especially when we feel threatened, put down or witness injustice
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Take a moment to: Assess: why do you care about this? Do nothing: allow yourself to recover from your feeling of loss Consider some action to initiate positive changes
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THE STORY OF Anthony Ray Hinton'The Sun Does Shine: How I Found Life andFreedom on Death Row' by Anthony Ray Hinton, 2018,St Martin's Press
As a black man innocently framed for murders he didn't commit, Ray was placed on deathrow. He shares his story of how he was consumed with anger for three years until one day he realised that this anger was only hurting himself. The unfair judge and deceitful attorney didn't care.
It was then that he decided to redirect his interest onto the other prisoners. He created a 'death-row' book club where they read books that helped them to process their situation. Once a month they were allowed to meet. They started to confide in each other and started to understand and forgive racism which is the cause of so much injustice.
Fortunately for Ray he eventually was exonerated due to a number of lawyers dedicated to right the wrong that was unjustly inflicted on him and so many others who were framed for something they hadn't done.
Ray now fights on behalf of other prisoners who suffered the same unjust imprisonment and humiliation that he did. He travels the world to highlight the injustice perpetrated towards black under-privileged persons, and to help reform prison services.
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Journey from anger to enthusiasm Anger is a message of your passion and enthusiasm about something. What is it you care about? Use the strength of PASSION & ENTHUSIASM to channel your anger into some positive action. Allow yourself to become absorbed and fully engaged in what you do. Find a sense of vocation where you can lose self-awareness and merge with the task at hand. Allow yourself to feel inspired and look forward to engaging with future challenges.
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Journey from anger to enthusiasm and passion 1. What am I feeling angry about? 2. What do I truly care about? Constructive anger helps us to create healthy boundaries and discover what truly matters. 3. What would be one way to use my anger constructively and show enthusiasm for something? 4. What will I do if this doesn't work out for me? 5. Why is it important for me to process anger into positive action rather than quickly venting, hurting myself and others in the process?
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Jigsaw is an Irish help organisation for 12-25 year olds that offers
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Discouraged
Feeling a failure, that life or relationships aren't working for you
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Take a moment to: Embrace failure: it's how we learn Encourage: self-parent, speak to yourself as you would to a child who 'failed' Observe: every successful person has failed many times
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THE STORY OF Steve Carrigan'High Hopes:Making Music, Losing MyWay, Learning to Live' by Steve Garrigan, 2021, Hachette Books
Steve Carrigan, Kodaline's front singer and songwriter, shares how he was let go by his girlfriend at a time when he was totally anxious and discouraged. As if things weren't bad enough already!
However, it was then that he started writing more meaningful songs which would eventually become hits. Songs that came from his heart, from his own sadness and discouragement.
Through perseverance and diligence the sadness was turned into a positive outlet of his inner struggle.
Steve turned his discouraging feelings into compassionate lyrics for other people in the same situation.
Thousands of people have come to love, and sing along with, his uplifting lyrics e.g. 'High hope', 'Do you pray for me?', 'If you're ever feeling lonely' etc.
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Journey from discouragement to perseverance Discouragement is an invitation to let go of perfectionism and keep on going, to allow oneself to be a learner. What discourages you? Use the strength of PERSEVERANCE & DILIGENCE to carry out work that you love, carefully and diligently. Keep going when others give up, see it through to the end. Enjoy your work without obsessing about perfection. Be ambitious in the best way possible: believe that once you put the work in, you'll succeed in some shape or another. Keep investing yourself in your relationships even if it just means praying for someone.
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Journey from discouragement to perseverance 1. What am I discouraged about? 2. What is so important to me that I can't let this obstacle stop my involvement? Discouragement can help us to engage more strongly with what's important to us. 3. Which goal can I set myself regarding what are meaningful and enjoyable activities? 4. What goal can I set myself for my relationship/s? 5. Why is it important to me to move beyond my discouragement, and involve myself with what I love and believe in?
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| Sometimes our negative feelings can persist and we might need to connect with someone who listens to, and helps us discern our way forward. | ||||
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Jigsaw is an Irish help organisation for 12-25 year olds that offers
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| The Samaritans is another support group who is available 24 hours 365 days a year to talk over the phone. | ||||
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People Pleasing
Feeling I have to please others so much that I'm unsure of who I am and what I want
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Take a moment to: Remember: your feelings are important Tune in: listen to your body and intuition Nourish: recharge yourself
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THE STORY OF Michaela Avlund'Happiness Skills based on PositivePsychology' by Michaela Avlund, 2015, SOL Productions, Wicklow, Eire
When my then closest friend abandoned me to spend time with another I didn't know who I was or what I wanted. My life had been so focused on being available to this person that when somebody asked me 'What do you want?' I realised that I had never even thought much about that. Never realised how important it is to ask oneself what one truly wants.
I grew up as the oldest of five siblings very close in age, having to step in when our mum wasn't well. I was busy attending to the needs of the household.
Sweetly and painfully my friend's rejection somehow liberated me. I started hiking, writing, painting and finding new friends.
It took time to get over the 'hurt', but now I'm glad it all happened because I've developed an adventurous streak that would not have come to the surface, had I stayed 'people-pleasing'. I'm on a journey learning to listen to myself and be honest about what I want.
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Journey from people pleasing to honesty People-pleasing is an invitation to become more honest about what you want. If no one else existed, what would you want to do? Use the strength of HONESTY & INTEGRITY to live in a sincere and transparent manner, committed to what you believe is important. Speak truthfully and act according to your heart and mind. Be genuine even if it means doing things differently than expected by others. Be kind but firm about your need to say 'no'. Not everyone might understand and that is okay.
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Journey from people pleasing to honesty & integrity 1. With whom or in which situation do I tend to be people pleasing rather than honest ? 2. What am I afraid of? People pleasing can be traumatic to your health unless you know when to stop and mind yourself. 3. How will I take time out to nourish myself? 4. Which boundary can I set to ensure that I don't run myself down? 5. Why is it important for me, to move beyond my people pleasing 'addiction' and get involved with what I truly love and enjoy?
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Jigsaw is an Irish help organisation for 12-25 year olds that offers
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| The Samaritans is another support group who is available 24 hours 365 days a year to talk over the phone. | ||||
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Bullied
Feeling belittled, powerless, humiliated
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Take a moment to: Be assertive: believe in your own worth and power for good Be courageous: gather evidence and skills, and people who enable you to stand up to the bully Be self-kind: find ways to mind and encourage yourself
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THE STORY OF Emelda,'Happiness Skills based on PositivePsychology' by Michaela Avlund, 2015, SOL Productions, Wicklow, Eire a young woman volunteering and studying.
When Emelda was growing up she lived with her mother who had left the countryside to help Emelda's uncle who had become a drug-addict in Dublin. Unfortunately, Emelda's mother became heavily addicted to heroin.
Her mother would ridicule Emelda, sometimes starve her, or beat her. When her mother had a boyfriend over, Emelda was sometimes locked in a wardrobe
Emelda was too ashamed to tell anyone but eventually it got so bad that she couldn't manage school and she ended up telling her teacher. That's how she went to live with her granny.
Afterwards, her mother would ring her and sometimes threaten to commit suicide. When Emelda got a new phone number she didn't let her mum know, as she felt she had to make herself unavailable, even though her mother was her only living parent.
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Journey from feeling bullied to self-control Feeling bullied is an opportunity to develop boundaries and self confidence. How do you feel bullied? Use the strength of SELF-CONTROL to take on and maintain healthy habits that empower you. Rather than rushing into action, be patient and mind your own mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health. Don't overreact but stay focused, address the situation in a calm but insistent manner. Reflect on how you feel bullied but find ways to create healthy boundaries for yourself. E.g. stay away, confront or ignore, whichever is appropriate for your situation. Who to get onboard for support.
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Journey from feeling bullied to self-control 1. What do I feel bullied by? A person, a system or a personal addiction? 2. What am I losing through this bullying? Being bullied can build up mental courage to either ignore or take on the bully head-on. 3. How can I move forward cautiously and confidently? 4. How can I take precautions in the future? 5. Why is it important to address bullying and use the opportunity to develop myself in the process?
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| Sometimes our negative feelings can persist and we might need to connect with someone who listens to, and helps us discern our way forward. | ||||
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Jigsaw is an Irish help organisation for 12-25 year olds that offers
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| The Samaritans is another support group who is available 24 hours 365 days a year to talk over the phone. | ||||
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| Safe space to share personally and anonymously. We are here with trained volunteers 24/7. From calming chats to immediate support during a mental health or personal crisis - big or small. | ||||
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Envious
Feeling belittled by other people's achievements or possessions
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Take a moment to: Refocus: you have your own interesting journey in life Wish others well: if you can't fight them, join them, or let them be free to possibly make their own mistakes and misjudgements Observe: even the most successful have trouble of their own to bear
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THE STORY OF Michaela AvlundThe story of a DanishMisfit - You're not alone', working title by Michaela Avlund, 2022, SOL Productions
I envy famous performers, I would have loved to be one of them. They seem to have everything: talent to entertain, do what they want, and fans who love them. They can share positive messages with thousands of people who pay attention to what they say. And they can support charities that they believe in.
However, when I observe these people's lives more closely, I notice that they have their own struggles. They have to work hard to maintain their position, they are continually scrutinised by the Media and might have very little say or privacy. They have to deal with public humiliations if they make a mistake. Many feel lonely and isolated and struggle with stress and end up depending on drugs to help them sleep or keep going.
Other times I envy people who travel or have family get-togethers while I'm working, but I've found it is an opportunity to expand my narrow vision of what I can do: I can decide to travel, I can organise family events. I can take charge and create amazing experiences in my life (Recently, I acquired an electric bike which has added a whole new range of experiences to my life). And I went on a roadtrip to Tyrol and cycled in the Alps, something I never thought I'd be lucky enough to do.
Once I apply myself, I can 'live the dream' too.
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Journey from envy to humility Envy can be transformed into a motivational energy. Who are you envious of? Use the strength of HUMILITY & MODESTY to realise that we are all one human family. You don't need everyone to know your achievements. You can work away quietly in your own corner of the world. Let other people find their own way. Remember that each one of us is special. Other people will value your unpretentious contributions and support.
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Journey from envy to humility 1. What or who do I envy? 2. What might be missing in my life? Comparing oneself with others can cause pain unless we learn to appreciate our own situation and be inspired instead of envious 3. Whose achievements and good fortune would inspire me to follow my journey to success? 4. How can I move towards a humble, meaningful and adventurous life? 5. Why is it important for me to not get stuck in envy but rather to discover my own inner needs and calling?
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Jigsaw is an Irish help organisation for 12-25 year olds that offers
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| The Samaritans is another support group who is available 24 hours 365 days a year to talk over the phone. | ||||
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Regret
Feeling foolish or taken advantage of - sorry for mistakes
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Take a moment to: Regain your self-confidence: you've got this Be courageous: take responsibility for your part Learn how to do better in the future
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THE STORY OF Edith Eger,'The Choice:A true story of hope' by Edith Eger, 2018, Rider, London, U.K. mother, grandmother, counsellor and author
As a 16-year old girl at the entrance to the Auschwitz concentration camp for Jews during WW2, Edith was asked whether her mother who stood beside her was her sister or her mother. 'Mother' she answered only to observe her mother disappear forever.
Edith carried a deep regret within herself for not saying 'sister', so her mother could've lived. But how was she to know that her honesty would bring about her mother's murder? It took her many years to face her regret head on and forgive herself.
Edith realised that she needed counselling to deal with her deep buried issues.
She writes about how she had to allow herself to grieve for her mother but also needed to forgive the cruelty of the prison guards who took away and killed her mother.
Through her own experience Edith developed empathy and became a brilliant counsellor herself. She has helped thousands of people to better mental health through her books, talks and counselling.
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Journey from regret to caution Feeling regret is an opportunity to pause and learn something important. What do you regret? Use the strength of CAUTION & DISCRETION to become good at assessing a situation before making a decision on how to respond. Don't offer advice too readily until you've looked into all the facts. Be aware that things can go wrong, and take precautions. Find ways to work around people's pride and other obstacles. Allow yourself to grieve if you feel a loss, but also move forward in hope of a better future.
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Journey from regret to caution & discretion 1. What is it that I very much regret? 2. What loss do I feel? Regret is a useful emotion that can help us to make wiser decisions in the future 3. What precautions can I take for the future? 4. How can I work around people's pride and avoid obstacles? 5. Why is it important for me to move forward cautiously and confidently rather than being paralysed by my regrets?
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Jigsaw is an Irish help organisation for 12-25 year olds that offers
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| The Samaritans is another support group who is available 24 hours 365 days a year to talk over the phone. | ||||
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Vindictice
Eager to punish someone for their offence
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Take a moment to: Reflect: did you ever do something hurtful or make a mistake? Grieve: allow yourself to grieve for your loss Practise loving-kindness meditation
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THE STORY OF Pascale Kavanagh,https://www.facebook.com/WollongongSalvos/photos/i-recently-read-the-story-of-pascale-kavanagh-pascale-suffered-terrible-abuse-at/1269075933264360/ now a Resilience Coach, Speaker and Writer.
As a child Pascale was so severely abused by her mother that she thought she'd never be able to connect with her again. Or would ever want to.
One day however, her elderly mother suffered several strokes which left her unable to communicate and look after herself. As there was no one else to help, Pascale somehow managed to step in.
As she sat by her mother's side reading for her, to her own amazement she found that little by little her hate for her mother shifted into forgiveness and love.
Research confirms that holding onto grudges and unforgiveness stresses out our physical, emotional and mental health, while the perpetrator lives on in 'happy' ignorance. We need to set boundaries on our time and generosity but not on how much we forgive. Forgiveness sets us free.
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Journey from feeling vindictive to forgiveness Feeling vindictive is an invitation to allow yourself to grieve a loss but also to experience the power of forgiveness. What do you feel vindictive about? Use the strength of FORGIVENESS & MERCY by making allowance for weakness and imperfections. Allow somebody more chances to get it right. Let go of past hurts and allow them to transform you into a kinder and more tolerant person. Accept others but without compromising your values or boundaries for wellness.
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Journey from feeling vindictive to forgiveness 1. What makes me feel vindictive? 2. What have I lost that I need to grieve for? Vindictiveness gives short relief but long term ill-health. Forgiveness hurts now but brings freedom and healing 3. What and who do I need to forgive? 4. How can I forgive without compromising my values? 5. Why is it important for me to move beyond vindictiveness into a space of freedom and healing?
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Jigsaw is an Irish help organisation for 12-25 year olds that offers
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Phoney/Fake
Feeling of being undeserving of attention or love
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Take a moment to: Be insightful: the 'imposter-syndrome' is a common experience when one does well Accept: it is okay not to be perfect Reflect: what do I truly care about?
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STORIES OF THE 'imposter syndrome'Michelle Obamaexplains 'imposter syndrome'https://youtu.be/dumm_XfHkmY
Actor Tom Hanks, Michelle Obama and Lady Gaga are some of the many successful people who experience the 'imposter syndrome'. A description of being afraid to be found out as not being as clever or good as others expect.
Tom Hanks shares how he at times wonders how he got to where he is and agonises over whether the whole thing is down to luck?
Anthony Hopkins, another Oscar winning actor shared how early on in his career he became an alcoholic due to his anxiety about not being able to match his previous performances.
Eventually he learned to say 'What you see is what you get'. Whether others thought that was good enough or not was up to them. He no longer needed to 'self-medicate' with alcohol as he now accepted his own vulnerability and learned to be happy with who he was.
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Journey from feeling a phoney to open mindedness Feeling undeserving of attention, admiration or love is an opportunity to investigate further as to why? How do you think you're undeserving or not good enough? Use the strength of OPEN MINDEDNESS & INTEREST to be curious and not to judge yourself or others. Look at every point of view and don't allow yourself to be upset by contradictions and opposing opinions. Continue exploring the deeper levels of your being. Feeling a phoney can help you to dig deeper and discover a precious, good enough and lovable part of yourself. The person who is 'good enough'.
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Journey from feeling a phoney or fake to open mindedness 1. In what area of my life do I experience the 'imposter syndrome'? 2. What is it I want to contribute? Experiencing the 'imposter syndrome' can make us humbler and friendlier towards others 3. Whose opinion truly matters to me? 4. What is my deeper beautiful self, and what do I truly care about? 5. Why is it important for me to move beyond feeling a phoney into an awareness, of my deeper loving and lovable self?
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Jigsaw is an Irish help organisation for 12-25 year olds that offers
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| The Samaritans is another support group who is available 24 hours 365 days a year to talk over the phone. | ||||
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Anxious
Fear of the unknown, feeling unable to cope. Exaggerated negative expectations due to past negative experiences.
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Take a moment to: Realise: There is no one who doesn't experience anxiety or worry. Connect: Many successful people hide their anxiety - you can be sure more than one in your circle is suffering, quite possibly worse than you. Understand: anxiety can be a springboard to a better way of living. The first step might be daunting but once you take it, you'd be surprised how quickly you can move forward.
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THE STORY OF Steven Spielberg,https://www.secretstoschoolsuccess.com/dyslexia-steven-spielberg/and Steven Spielberg on 60 Minutes film-maker, writer and producer of E.T., BFG, Hook, the Indiana Jones pictures, Jurassic Park and more.
As a child Steven was bullied due to not doing well in sports or school as well as being the only Jew in his area. He suffered from anxiety from a young age.
In an interview he confessed that everything made him afraid e.g. a big tree outside his bedroom window terrified him no end.
Steven was fortunate that his parents supported him in his creative escape of film-making. He began making movies as a boy scout at the age of 12 and dropped out of college for an internship with Universal pictures.
Steven's childhood fears became story material for empowering children in the face of being bullied, ignored, put down or abused.
Steven admits to still experiencing a fear of the unknown. He throws himself into creative film-making, it makes him feel good about life in spite of his anxiety.
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Journey from anxiety to creativity Anxiety is an invitation to open up about your thoughts and feelings possibly to express yourself artistically. What are you anxious about? Use the strength of CREATIVITY & ORIGINALITY and allow yourself to think and behave in an innovative and creative way. You may have a unique take on things. Anxiety is linked to the imagination - turn your imagination towards positive goals. Bring good results through imaginative ways either directly or indirectly through the arts.
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Journey from anxiety to creativity & originality 1. What do I feel anxious about? 2. What is the worst thing that could happen to me? Often anxious people are more sensitive and vulnerable which gives them a unique and creative edge. Anxiety can be a stepping stone to discovering your creative self. 3. How could I tap into my unique creative self? 4. What would be a creative goal that I could set myself? 5. Why is it important for me to move beyond my anxiety into creativity and originality?
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Jigsaw is an Irish help organisation for 12-25 year olds that offers
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| The Samaritans is another support group who is available 24 hours 365 days a year to talk over the phone. | ||||
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Betrayed
Feeling let down by someone you trust
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Take a moment to: Forgive and grow in compassion Bounce back: don't be a victim, be the survivor Be patient: take time out to do something you enjoy. With time your hurt will heal.
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THE STORY OF Broadcaster Gay Byrne'Time Of My Life': An Autobiography by Gay Byrne, 1989, Sidgwick & Jackson, London, U.K. also known as 'Gaybo'
This well-loved presenter in Irish radio and television discovered at his retirement age that his trusted accountant had gambled away all his hard earned retirement money. He wasn't even sure that he'd be able to hold on to his house. He felt terrible, he felt he had let down his wife as he could no longer afford to retire as promised, and had to keep working for a number of years.
His wife was very understanding and knew that he loved his work. His audience was thrilled to hold on to his comforting and humourous inputs for another few years.
A 'father of the nation' as he brought up many controversial issues in a compassionate and courageous manner. He loved music and was the first presenter to introduce the Beatles, and later Westlife to a television audience.
Gay also created a series called 'The Meaning of Life' in which he interviewed public figures about issues of meaning and life. He asked questions such as: 'Why do bad things happen?' and 'What happens when we die?'
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Journey from betrayal to critical thinking Feeling betrayed is a chance to re-assess and become more independent of other people's actions. How do you feel betrayed? Use the strength of JUDGEMENT AND CRITICAL THINKING to gain a balanced view - don't jump to conclusions. Examine your needs and wants before acting on them. View things objectively - you feel betrayed, yes, but you are bigger than someone's betrayal.
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Journey from betrayal to critical thinking 1. In what way do I feel betrayed? 2. Am I feeling a sense of loss? If so, what do I need to grieve? An experience of betrayal can help you to identify what you need and value 3. What would be an objective and balanced view of the situation? 4. What are my values and needs and how can I achieve them in a respectful and caring manner? 5. Why is it important for me to work through my sense of betrayal rather than allowing it to fester?
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Jigsaw is an Irish help organisation for 12-25 year olds that offers
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| The Samaritans is another support group who is available 24 hours 365 days a year to talk over the phone. | ||||
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| Safe space to share personally and anonymously. We are here with trained volunteers 24/7. From calming chats to immediate support during a mental health or personal crisis - big or small. | ||||
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Hurt
Feeling emotionally wounded
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Take a moment to: Accept: it's okay to feel hurt, not pleasant but sometimes unavoidable Forgive: it isn't worthwhile feeding anger or revenge Engage: focus on a 'safe place' away from hurtful experiences
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THE STORY OF Hedy Lamarr'The Only Woman in theRoom' by Marie Benedict, 2019, Sourcebooks Landmarks, ILL., U.S.
Hedy was a young beautiful Austrian actress who married an Austrian weapon producer mainly to protect herself and her Jewish parents against Hitler in WW1.
Her husband, initially adoring and kind, became abusive and controlling as he allied himself more deeply with Hitler. Hedy somehow managed to escape to the U.S. where she became the top actress of her time. But when she heard of the children and young people who were being killed by the Germans she felt that she had abandoned 'her people' and decided to do something to help the West win the war.
From her ex-husband, the weapon producer, Hedy knew that the Germans had difficulties controlling their missiles. She knew enough to eventually construct a system that would make radio control more reliable. She offered it to the U.S. army to help them get ahead of the Germans in this area. To her great disappointment and hurt, the U.S. Defense decided to shelve her idea, saying it would take too long to implement.
Later on though Hedy's system created the WiFi that we use today. Hedy's hurt led her to escape Jewish persecution, and later to invent something that all of us now benefit from.
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Journey from hurt to loving to learn Feeling hurt is an invitation to withdraw and re-assess how to proceed. What is hurting you? Use the strength of LOVING TO LEARN by opening yourself to new skills and information. Learn from your mistakes rather than feel sorry for yourself. Be willing to learn no matter where or when, your hurt is an opportunity to understand yourself and others better. Reflect on whether the pain is a necessary growing pain, or whether you need to remove yourself from a certain situation. Is your pain worth it all or do you need to invest your energy and time somewhere else?
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Journey from hurt to loving to learn 1. What is hurting me? 2. What am I learning about myself? Feeling hurt can help us realise that we are vulnerable and imperfect, to make changes and to have more empathy with others 3. Having discovered my own vulnerability, what changes do I need to make? 4. What have I learned from my hurtful experience? 5. Why is it important for me to embrace my hurt and work through it rather than staying wounded?
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Jigsaw is an Irish help organisation for 12-25 year olds that offers
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| The Samaritans is another support group who is available 24 hours 365 days a year to talk over the phone. | ||||
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| Safe space to share personally and anonymously. We are here with trained volunteers 24/7. From calming chats to immediate support during a mental health or personal crisis - big or small. | ||||
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Sick
Feeling unwell, no energy, in pain
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Take a moment to: Relax: it is okay to be unwell, it will pass Explore: what will help you get better, experience less pain? Share: find others who suffer similar pain, illness or suffering.
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THE STORY OF Michael J. Fox'Always looking up',the adventures of an eternal optimist,by Michael J. Fox a multi awarded Emmy and Golden Globe Canadian actor.
Michael J Fox became a household name in the role of Alex P Keaton in the seven-year series of 'Family Ties' and starring roles in 'Back to the Future', 'Teen wolf' and many other television series. But in 1998 he publicly shared that he had been living with Parkinson's disease for the past seven years. He was 29 years old when he was diagnosed.
Fox took semi-retirement in order to set up a foundation and has become an advocate for finding a cure and raising money for Parkinson's Disease. Also, he took time out to reconnect with his family. He wrote his memoirs reflecting on how his illness had opened up many doors rather than closing them.
Fox returned to acting but using his 'disability' rather than hiding it. He even ran his own series for a while. In 2020 he finally had to retire but with no regrets as he no longer could work 18 hour days and remember pages of script. He is an optimist in spite of his deteriorating illness; he says that it is gratitude that facilitates his optimism.
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Journey from sickness to having perspective Feeling sick, unwell or in pain is an invitation to realise that you're not alone. Suffering is an unavoidable part of being a human being as we fumble our way through life. Who could you connect to in order to realise that you're not alone? Use the strength of PERSPECTIVE to be wise and view your situation in the right context. Other people might need you to help them to see the bigger picture. Your feelings of pain, illness or suffering can be a springboard to solidarity with others in similar circumstances. How will you alleviate your sickness, pain and unwellness? Perhaps, even connect to a support group, mentor or coach.
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Journey from sickness to having perspective 1. In what way do I feel sick? 2. Is there something I need to do to make myself better? Sickness can strengthen our health as it produces antibodies which makes us stronger in the future 3. Where do I notice other people suffering similarly to me? 4. Is there a way of uniting myself with others who are feeling sick in order to improve our situation? 5. Why is it important for me to embrace my sickness and view it in a larger context?
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Jigsaw is an Irish help organisation for 12-25 year olds that offers
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| The Samaritans is another support group who is available 24 hours 365 days a year to talk over the phone. | ||||
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| Safe space to share personally and anonymously. We are here with trained volunteers 24/7. From calming chats to immediate support during a mental health or personal crisis - big or small. | ||||
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Confused
Not sure what life is about, who you are and what you are supposed to do
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Take a moment to: Clarify: to make a mind map or list of what you love doing Find purpose: meditate on how you'd like to make this a better world in some way or another Be patient: clarity comes in time
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THE STORY OF Tom Shadyac'I am' filmsby Tom Shadyac, 2010 a writer, director and producer of 'Liar, Liar', 'Patch Adams' and many other blockbusters.
Tom earned millions and enjoyed the high life of a Hollywood celebrity. However, he felt uncomfortable owning so much more than what he needed. He sold his mansions and set up a homeless shelter, and supported people in need. He moved into a caravan park where he has everything he needs: ordinary neighbours, surfing and mountains to climb.
Suddenly, however, he fell off his bike and ended up with a horrific concussion. His brain hurt with every sound, so much that he had to isolate himself and wasn't sure if he would make it. He became suicidal.
He also was very confused about life: he believed in kindness, generosity and forgiveness but wondered whether there was scientific evidence that these unmaterialistic values were helpful to anyone.
Tom decided to interview scientists who work in this area. His brain stopped hurting and in his film 'I am' he shows the scientific evidence of human beings functioning at their best when love is prioritised.
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Journey from confusion to responsibility Feeling confused is an invitation to dig deeper into our need to involve ourselves with something meaningful. What are you confused about? Use the strength of RESPONSIBILITY, LOYALTY & TEAMWORK to become involved with volunteering, contributing something that you enjoy for the good of society or the community. See the value of group goals even if they are different from your own. Find a team you can be loyal to and find ways to work in harmony with authorities.
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Journey from confusion to responsibility 1. What am I confused about? 2. What do I need to do to find clarity- talk to someone, investigate, or take on some responsibility? Confusion is a sign that your heart, mind, body and soul is making room for the unknown 3. Is there some enjoyable responsibility that I can consider taking on? If so, what? 4. Where can I encourage group goals even if they are different from mine? 5. Why is it important to accept confusion but then to open myself to making some enjoyable commitments?
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Jigsaw is an Irish help organisation for 12-25 year olds that offers
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| The Samaritans is another support group who is available 24 hours 365 days a year to talk over the phone. | ||||
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| Safe space to share personally and anonymously. We are here with trained volunteers 24/7. From calming chats to immediate support during a mental health or personal crisis - big or small. | ||||
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Guilty
Unable to feel good about yourself and your own actions
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Take a moment to: Remember: you're not God. We're all mere mortals struggling along Forgive yourself or others: life is too short not to Apologise, if necessary: for some mistake you've made. Stop being too hard on yourself
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THE STORY OF Hans Rosling,'Factfulness:Ten Reasons We'reWrong About the World -and Why Things Are Better Than You Think' by Hans Rosling, Ola Rosling andAnna RoslingRonnlund, 2018 a G.P., scientist, U.N. speaker and author.
In his research, Rosling discovered that the world isn't doing as badly as we think. Research shows that the Media dramatises negative stories and often ignores all the positive progress and beautiful stories of kindness and goodness between us human beings.
In his best-selling book 'Factfulness' Rosling shows us how many poor countries are rapidly reducing child mortality, extreme poverty and hunger. Many of these countries' standard of living is similar to that of rich countries around 70 years ago.
This doesn't mean that we shouldn't help, especially now with the Russian invasion of the Ukraine causing shortage of supplies to poorer countries. We should help, yes, but also trust that we are progressing. Good things are happening everywhere, even in the worst of situations.
Looking after oneself is also important, otherwise one ends up having to being an unfair burden on others.
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Journey from guilt to fairness Feeling guilty is an invitation to reassess our personal value system. What do you feel guilty about? Use the strength of FAIRNESS & EQUITY to take care of your corner of the world: Share what you can of your time, work and possessions. Give others a chance to fight for what they believe in. Acknowledge other people's contributions however humble or great, it is all of equal value. But also treat yourself fairly. Connect with people who do the cleaning, serving, building and other unrecognised work.
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Journey from guilt to fairness & equity 1. What am I feeling guilty about? 2. How is my guilt valid, and where might it be exaggerated? Guilt occurs when we compare something we've done - or failed to do - with our values 3. How can I be more fair to myself? 4. How can I be more fair to others and the environment? 5. Why is it important for me to move from the paralysing power of guilt into a fairer treatment of myself, the environment and other people?
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Jigsaw is an Irish help organisation for 12-25 year olds that offers
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| The Samaritans is another support group who is available 24 hours 365 days a year to talk over the phone. | ||||
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| Safe space to share personally and anonymously. We are here with trained volunteers 24/7. From calming chats to immediate support during a mental health or personal crisis - big or small. | ||||
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Indecisive
Feeling stuck, not knowing how to proceed
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Take a moment to: Be honest: note down for and against action Trust: one way or another things will work out Courage: commit, and if necessary fail and learn
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THE STORY OF Robert Iger,'The Ride of aLifetime: LessonsLearned from 15 Years as CEO of the Walt Disney' by Robert Iger, 2019,Random House, U.S. CEO of Walt Disney Company
Robert grew up with a disillusioned, alcoholic father whom he thanks for always urging him not to make the same mistake as him and to make something of his life. So Robert worked diligently to satisfy his father and became a very capable business man in the entertainment industry.
Robert experienced many moments of fear and indecision especially when other people didn't believe he could lead them successfully. In 1995 he ended up working for the Walt Disney company due to them buying out ABC television where he was the president.
In 2004 the CEO position in the Walt Disney Company became vacant and Robert felt he was more than ready for the task. He had a vision of how he could lead the company to success. However, the shareholders and the outgoing director doubted his ability. He had the choice of letting it all go as he had plenty of money and didn't need the hassle but he took the risk and put himself forward knowing he'd possibly fail. He decided to fight for the position which he barely secured.
Since then, he got onboard Steve Jobs and PIXAR animation, MARVEL Pictures with more than 1000 cartoon characters, and George Lucas with StarWars. And he expanded the Disney resorts to Hong Kong and Shanghai.
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Journey from indecision to leadership Feeling indecisive is an invitation to acknowledge the risks involved in taking action - and then calculate whether it will be worthwhile taking that risk or not. What are you indecisive about? Use the strength of LEADERSHIP and allow yourself to take responsibility and action to achieve worthwhile goals and lead others in the process. Organise activities whilst manufacturing good relationships. Don't be afraid to publicly admit mistakes and learn from set-backs. Remember failure is another word for postponed success.
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Journey from indecision to leadership 1. What am I indecisive about? 2. Knowing that caution is important, what do I fear going wrong? Indecision reminds us to pause to look at different angles, gather more information, and to develop empathy for the people involved. 3. What is for and against the action I'd like to take? 4. How can I show leadership in this area and commit myself to positive action? 5. Why is it important for me to work through my indecision, to show leadership and commit myself to a positive action?
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Jigsaw is an Irish help organisation for 12-25 year olds that offers
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| The Samaritans is another support group who is available 24 hours 365 days a year to talk over the phone. | ||||
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| Safe space to share personally and anonymously. We are here with trained volunteers 24/7. From calming chats to immediate support during a mental health or personal crisis - big or small. | ||||
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Ashamed
Feeling dirty, bad, undeserving, not good enough
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Take a moment to: Remember: every human being (including you) is of equal value - you are lovable Accept imperfection: nobody is perfect and anyone who claims to be, isn't. Confide: find someone trustworthy to help you discern whether you need to apologise, forgive someone or forgive yourself or simply accept that you're lovable
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THE STORY OF Eric Lomax,'Railway Man' by EricLomax, 2006, Vintage Books, London, U.K. an English military officer, survivor of a Japanese prison of war camp
During the second world war the Englishman Eric Lomax was forced to work on the notorious Burma-Siam Railway and was horrifically tortured by the Japanese.
Left emotionally scarred and unable to form normal relationships, Lomax suffered for years from nightmares and shame. With the help of his wife Patti and the Medical Foundation for the Care of Victims of Torture, he eventually came to terms with what had happened. Fifty years after the terrible events, he was able to meet one of his tormentors and forgive him.
People who have been tortured or sexually abused often blame themselves for not having done more to resist or having somehow brought on themselves what happened. However, they were caught up in a system that didn't allow them to speak up or process what was happening
Healing can come in time with help from loved ones, support counselling or groups, but also from kindness, compassion and generosity.
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Journey from shame to kindness & compassion Feeling shame is an invitation to review your life and bring more love into it. What are you ashamed of? Remember you are lovable! Use the strength of KINDNESS, COMPASSION & GENEROSITY to overcome your shame by interpreting your situation with compassion for yourself, and others. Whilst minding yourself, go and support others genuinely in their struggle for happiness and fulfilment. Share what you can without expecting a return, but remember it is okay to say 'no' if you are not ready to share. Help people in need to feel comfortable no matter what others think or say about them.
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Journey from shame to kindness & compassion 1. What am I feeling ashamed about? 2. What lovable qualities do I have? Feeling ashamed can be an opportunity to develop self-kindness and compassion 3. How can I be self-kind and compassionate towards myself? Do I need to find a suitable counsellor? 4. How can I be kind and compassionate towards others? 5. Why is it important for me to learn to move beyond shame into a kinder and more generous frame of mind?
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Jigsaw is an Irish help organisation for 12-25 year olds that offers
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| The Samaritans is another support group who is available 24 hours 365 days a year to talk over the phone. | ||||
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| Safe space to share personally and anonymously. We are here with trained volunteers 24/7. From calming chats to immediate support during a mental health or personal crisis - big or small. | ||||
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Burned out
A feeling of giving and giving with no return
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Take a moment to: Be self-kind: nourish your personal happiness Re-charge: enjoy a getaway adventure or a relaxing environment Laugh with somebody: look at a humorous film or play a relaxing game
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THE STORY OF Kristin Neff,'Self-Compassion:The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself' by Kristin Neff, 2015, HarperCollins,N.Y., U.S. a professor of positive psychology and mother to an autistic boy.
Kristin, now a researcher of self-kindness and self-compassion shares how she was often so worn out and feeling guilty about being unable to help or stop her autistic son from having 'melt-downs'.
Once she discovered self-kindness and self-compassion, she realised that it was ok for her to feel helpless and just to be there with him. It was no one's fault - just an invitation to learn and be more there with him and be honest about when she needed to step away for a few minutes.
Suddenly, her son started making progress, communicating in a better way what he needed or wanted, while she felt so much better about herself.
Kristin now writes about Fierce Self-compassion that urges us to take strong action to alleviate other people's suffering, but also to mind ourselves in the process.
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Journey from burn-out to emotional & social intelligence Experiencing burnout is an invitation to develop self-kindness, self-empathy, self-compassion. How can you be kinder to and empathise better with yourself? Use the strength of SOCIAL & EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE to understand other people's feelings and needs which enables you to communicate with compassion and respect. Get to know your own feelings and needs and how to fulfil them in an equally healthy manner. Take time out to care for yourself, physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.
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Journey from burn-out to emotional & social intelligence 1. Where in life am I giving so much that I'm now left feeling burned out? 2. What can I do to put down boundaries and mind myself better? Burnout offers us an opportunity to learn to love ourselves better 3. How can I nourish my emotional and mental wellbeing? 4. What goal can I set myself to prevent future burnout? 5. Why is it important for me to learn to set boundaries and take better care of myself rather than lingering in my burnout?
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Jigsaw is an Irish help organisation for 12-25 year olds that offers
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| The Samaritans is another support group who is available 24 hours 365 days a year to talk over the phone. | ||||
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| Safe space to share personally and anonymously. We are here with trained volunteers 24/7. From calming chats to immediate support during a mental health or personal crisis - big or small. | ||||
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Jealousy
An invite to broaden my understanding of love, and welcome life more fully
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Take a moment to: Step out: go beyond your comfort zone (in a healthy manner) Self-care: look at something caring to do for yourself or someone else Be happy: it's good that other people connect with each other
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THE STORY OF Michaela Avlund,'The story of a DanishMisfit - You're not alone' (working title) byMichaela Avlund, SOL, Wicklow 2023 author, positive psychologist and care worker
As a teenager I felt jealous of girls in my class who seemed to get all the attention. They wore a lot of make-up, had money to go to discos, talent to compete in ball-room dancing, and went out with the older boys. I didn't have money and I didn't feel good wearing make-up (it seemed to always end up looking a mess). And the older boys didn't seem to be interested in me.
However, after school, I followed my own 'hidden' interests and travelled to France and Haiti to care for people with learning disabilities.
Later on, I ended up in Ireland eventually working in the area of well-being and happiness skills. Now I feel most fortunate of all.
I've since discovered my own character strengths of forgiveness, spirituality, gratitude and perseverance. Not that I'm in any way perfect but the awareness of my own strengths have brought me an amazing life, working with wellbeing skills, travelling and connecting with so many interesting and good people.
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Journey from jealousy to love Jealousy is an invitation not to depend on others for contentment. What or who are you jealous of? Use the strength of GIVING & RECEIVING LOVE to show care and thoughtful action towards those close to you. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and open to intimate sharing and caring. Value the attention you receive and appreciate love in all its aspects.
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Journey from jealousy into giving and receiving love 1. What I'm feeling jealous about? 2. Who could I wish well, instead of blaming them, or feeding my jealousy? Jealousy can be a springboard to developing a deeper love for myself and others 3. In which ways do I enjoy giving and receiving love? 4. What action will I take to move into a more loving space in my life? 5. Why is it important for me to move away from jealousy and discover new ways of loving myself and others?
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Jigsaw is an Irish help organisation for 12-25 year olds that offers
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| The Samaritans is another support group who is available 24 hours 365 days a year to talk over the phone. | ||||
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| Safe space to share personally and anonymously. We are here with trained volunteers 24/7. From calming chats to immediate support during a mental health or personal crisis - big or small. | ||||
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Bored
Life and people around you seem uninteresting and unstimulating
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Take a moment to: Plan: look for something adventurous to take you beyond your comfort-zone Connect: communicate with someone interesting Appreciate: connect beyond the surface of people/things
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THE STORY OF Barbara Sher,'What Do I Do WhenI Want to Do Everything?'by Barbara Sher, 2006,Rodale International Ltd., London, U.K. mother, speaker, author, career- and lifestyle coach.
Barbara Sher coined the personality type of 'scanner' after discovering that she wasn't the only one who tended to move from interest to interest. She'd become bored after engaging enthusiastically with a job, a study or a hobby and then want to move on even if she hadn't done exams or fully engaged with the depth of something.
In her books Barbara connects with individuals who are easily bored. They have many interests and need to do lots of different things, there are so many choices. This makes it difficult to choose and so they might do nothing. She encourages these 'scanners' to find a career that allows them to be a 'scanner' rather than being paralysed by the thought of choosing the one job or hobby.
Barbara advocates choosing something enjoyable, and moving on when it isn't enjoyable any more. As long as one considers other people's feelings and earns one's keep.
Barbara's books are translated into multiple languages, and she has sold millions of copies
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Journey from boredom to appreciation Feeling bored is an invitation to take charge and start appreciating your surroundings, looking for something beautiful or amazing to connect with. Why are you bored? Use the strength of APPRECIATION OF BEAUTY & EXCELLENCE to start appreciating the amazing world of art you're surrounded by: nature, science, street art, music. Observe the ordinary things with awe and wonder. Woodwork, food, buildings, a flower, a person, the miracle of it all. Notice human acts of goodness and courage that can lift your spirit.
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Journey from boredom to appreciation 1. What am I feeling bored about? 2. If I allow myself to pause and look around, where do I notice beauty or excellence? Boredom can foster creativity from within, and deepen our appreciation of people around us 3. Who can I quietly connect with on a deeper level, appreciating who they are, and what they do? 4. How and where could I make a habit of noticing and appreciating goodness and beauty around me? 5. Why is it important for me to view the feeling of boredom as growing deeper roots rather than a waste of time?
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Jigsaw is an Irish help organisation for 12-25 year olds that offers
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Depressed
Feeling of hopelessness and isolation
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Take a moment to: Be self-compassionate: go easy on yourself, things will change Empower: realise you have the power to create a better world for yourself Energise: engage with someone who can help
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THE STORY OF Damian Dempsey,'Love Yourself Today'movie: https://www.rte.ie/player/movie/love-yourself-today/306380840445 songwriter, musician and performer.
In the documentary 'Love Yourself Today' Damian and three of his fans open up about their battle with tragedy, addiction and trauma. They've all found great healing through music, spiritual wisdom and community.
At Damian's gigs grown men can be seen in tears whilst singing along to Damian's lyrics on suicide and missing someone.
Damian is very open about his own struggles with mental health and the importance of reaching out and telling people how you feel. As a young person, he experienced a lot of shame and bullying after his mother left the family, even though that was the right thing for her to do.
Damian had to give up caring about what other people thought of him and learn to be himself. Whenever he is not performing or practicing his music, he spends time in nature, the woods and the riverbeds, and sometimes slips into a church.
Nature, gratitude and music are the cornerstone of his spirituality and dealing with trauma. He reflects on how much better off we are than people who lived through the famine.
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Journey from depression to gratitude Feeling depressed is a period of transformation. What do you feel depressed about? Use the strength of GRATITUDE and take a few moments to appreciate the ever present miracle of life. Appreciate others for who they are and for what they contribute. Make a detailed list of all the people who have populated your life in a positive manner. Do not take things for granted but rather enjoy your surroundings wherever you are.
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Journey from depression to gratitude 1. What am I feeling depressed about? 2. Might I need help to make some necessary changes? If so, who could help? While gratitude isn't a cure-all for depression, finding small things to appreciate can energise us enough to start looking for the necessary tools of transformation 3. In my immediate surroundings what could I appreciate- details if you can? 4. Whose presence do I appreciate enough to write them a gratitude letter? 5. Why is it important for me to appreciate this time of transformation rather than remaining depressed?
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Jigsaw is an Irish help organisation for 12-25 year olds that offers
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| The Samaritans is another support group who is available 24 hours 365 days a year to talk over the phone. | ||||
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Invisible
A sense that nobody sees me, that nobody cares
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Take a moment to: Remember: not all flowers/insects/animals exist in clear sight. Yet, every creation has beauty and purpose Be spiritual: you are loved by a caring creator; you have a unique take on life Enjoy the gift of life: many blessings surround you
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THE STORY OF Nelson Mandela,'Long Walk To Freedom:The Autobiography ofNelson Mandela' by Nelson Mandela, 1995 the freedom fighter who became President of South Africa.
Nelson Mandela experienced years of 'invisibility' being imprisoned on Robben Island for his opposition to apartheid in South Africa. Here he was forced to grueling stone chipping in the burning hot sun. His cell was tiny, he was cut off from all communication with the outside world. Whenever he tried to communicate with his political comrades in the prison, he was severely punished. Still, Mandela maintained a sense of humour. Later, out of prison he said 'I went for a 27 year holiday'.
Through his sense of humour Mandela was able to get his demands for the abolishment of apartheid across to people in power. He'd relax his 'enemies' with his self-deprecating jokes and then deliver his firm demands, doggedly pursuing what he believed was fair for his people.
He committed himself to seek justice for others rather than revenge for himself. By letting go of his own 'invisible' years he was able to focus on negotiating and leading the South African nation into the twenty-first century striving for equality and unity amongst all citizens of South Africa, black, white and coloured.
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Journey from invisibility to humour Feeling invisible is an opportunity to insert a bit of humour into your life. How do you feel invisible? Use the strength of PLAYFULNESS & HUMOUR to not take yourself or others too seriously. Find ways to laugh and smile. Make other people smile at the surprising experiences in life. Have fun, not by being a cynic but by allowing yourself to be amused by the futility of our own importance. Allow yourself to see the lighter side of life.
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Journey from invisibility to humour & playfulness 1. Where or when am I feeling invisible? 2. What humiliations do I have to deal with? Humour brings comfort and eases physical pain, it boost our memory and improves our social relationships 3. How can I bring humour without cynicism into my painful situation/s? 4. How can I become more humorous and playful? 5. Why is it important for me not to worry too much about my own invisibility, but rather to add some humour and fun into the situation?
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Jigsaw is an Irish help organisation for 12-25 year olds that offers
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| The Samaritans is another support group who is available 24 hours 365 days a year to talk over the phone. | ||||
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| Safe space to share personally and anonymously. We are here with trained volunteers 24/7. From calming chats to immediate support during a mental health or personal crisis - big or small. | ||||
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Rejected
Feeling let down in spite of your efforts to please or do the right thing
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Take a moment to: Reflect: many people experience rejection before finding their true friends, their true calling Enjoy: do something energising and fun Have faith: trust in a benevolent loving power from within helping you to move forward
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THE STORY OF J.K. Rowling,'Very Good Lives:The Fringe Benefits ofFailure and the Importanceof Imagination' byJ.K. Rowling, 2015,Sphere, U.K. the author of the Harry Potter children's fantasy stories.
Joanna experienced a lot of rejection both in her personal life, but also as an author.
Joanna was deeply affected by her mother's untimely death by multiple sclerosis, as her mother was more like a sister and good friend. Also, her marriage failed as her husband turned out to be abusive and threw her out of their home. Joanne went back to get her daughter and ended up as a single jobless mother in the U.K. She says she was as poor as a person can be without being homeless.
Joanne shares how reaching her rock bottom propelled her into pursuing her dream of writing a book about an idea that had come to her while waiting for the train: a boy wizard. She felt she had nothing to lose and dedicated herself to writing about this boy who is dedicated to friendship and love of others. He is even willing to accept death to save them.
Twelve publishers rejected her Harry Potter book before a publisher bought the book, inspired by a young girl who read a chapter and wanted to read more.
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Journey from rejection to faith Rejection is an opportunity to reflect on what is most important to you. Use the strength of SPIRITUALITY & FAITH to reflect on what gives you purpose beyond materialism and status. Tune into the sacred (God, the universal benevolent power, the beauty of nature) to appreciate the vast universe and the wonder of it all. What are you willing to suffer for? Rejection is part of the journey towards success.
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Journey from rejection to faith & spirituality 1. When and how do I feel rejected? 2. How can I accept myself better and trust in my own goodness? Rejection can make us stronger and more determined 3. How can I use faith and spirituality to move beyond my rejection, see it as temporary and valuable? 4. How can my rejection become an advantage? 5. What attitude do I need to develop to move forward in spite of rejection?
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Jigsaw is an Irish help organisation for 12-25 year olds that offers
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| The Samaritans is another support group who is available 24 hours 365 days a year to talk over the phone. | ||||
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| Safe space to share personally and anonymously. We are here with trained volunteers 24/7. From calming chats to immediate support during a mental health or personal crisis - big or small. | ||||
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Sadness
A natural reaction to loss of relationship, status, self-confidence or control
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Take a moment to: Accept: it is okay to be sad, part of experiencing our humanity Be grateful: notice the small blessings in spite of what is missing Remember: you are not alone, everyone lives with some kind of loss
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THE STORY OFKodaline singer/songwriter Steve Garrigan'High Hopes : MakingMusic, Losing My Way, Learning to Live' by Steve Garrigan, 2021, Hachette Books, Ireland
In his book 'High Hopes' Steve shares how he was extremely sad after gigs dying out and his band falling apart. He stopped singing and playing.
After getting sadder and sadder, he eventually decided to start singing and playing again because that's what he truly loved doing.
He got himself a solo gig in a popular restaurant. Night after night he belted out his songs thankful for the opportunity to perform, and for the positive response.
What seemed all of a sudden, a producer invited him to make an album as he had previously seen the band perform and thought they had potential.
That was the start of an amazing life for Steve. He and the band are now touring and giving concerts. He used his sadness to guide him towards engaging in what he truly loved doing: writing, singing and performing his songs with his mates.
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Journey from sadness to hope Sadness is an invitation to process loss and reinvent oneself as a better person. What do you wish for in the future? Use the strength of HOPE by adopting a positive attitude and keep going without blaming others when things don't work out. Set yourself a few goals and trust that one way or another, something worthwhile will evolve. Look forward to better things to come, and work hard to develop your skills.
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Journey from sadness to hope 1. What am I feeling sad about? 2. What are the losses I have to deal with? Feel the sadness but be grateful for what goodness was there 3. What would be something meaningful that I love doing? 4. What hopeful action can I take to move forward in spite of my feelings of sadness and loss? 5. Why is it important not to let my loss paralyse me but rather to engage in some hopeful action?
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| Sometimes our negative feelings can persist and we might need to connect with someone who listens to, and helps us discern our way forward. | ||||
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Jigsaw is an Irish help organisation for 12-25 year olds that offers
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| The Samaritans is another support group who is available 24 hours 365 days a year to talk over the phone. | ||||
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| Safe space to share personally and anonymously. We are here with trained volunteers 24/7. From calming chats to immediate support during a mental health or personal crisis - big or small. | ||||
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